I’m single, but I’m not here to mingle. I’ve written about my love of being a loner in previous essays so my confession shouldn’t be a surprise. The reason I choose singledom because it offers me a simpler, and thus, better life. That’s why it’s better to be single, in my opinion.
Why I Think It’s Better To Be Single
I continue to meet people who are in crummy relationships and marriages. These individuals waste no time to tell me about their problems. Then there are the individuals I meet who are seeking (sometimes) yearning for a partner. Their pining eyes and wistful voice pains me. I hope they get want they so desire.
All this shows me is that relationships complicate your life. Not only does taking on a spouse bring new challenges, but you have to join lives. While this is part of being in a relationship is it right? I mean, should I add integrate a person into my life who will have the power to control my decisions? What if I want to move cities because I want to try something new. Or what if I want to quit my job and go full-steam ahead on a business venture? I would have to run this by my boyfriend or spouse first. Actually, what would probably happen first is that I would think how my decision would uproot their life and how that wasn’t right.
Really, it isn’t right. I don’t have the right to change my spouse’s life due to my goals. And I don’t have the right to try to persuade my boyfriend to give into me. We’re both adults with all of our faculties intact. I know he would have his dreams and I wouldn’t want to impede him trying to attain those.
It’s Better To Be Single According To Paul The Apostle
Fighting with these thoughts and more just takes me back to Paul The Apostle’s words in 1 Corinthians 7:8: “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.” Paul The Apostle speaks from experience as a single man during the writing of those letters. Also, this gave the unmarried and widows to stay single.
Paul The Apostle follows up his words of wisdom later in the book in verse 7:28 by warning: “But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.” What troubles you ask? Well Paul states in 7:32-35:
I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs — how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world — how he can please his wife — and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
Let’s Dig Into That Verse
That’s quite a bit to dissect so let’s examine each verse.
In versr 7:32 Paul The Apostle says “ I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord.” Although he talking about men in this verse this advice works for women too. The way I read this verse is like this: Once a person marries their mind becomes burdened with various worldly or fleshly concerns. Before marriage that person’s main concern was pleasing God and following His commands.
Yet, in verse 7:33-34 Paul The Apostle says:
But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world — how he can please his wife — and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world — how she can please her husband.
That is true because each spouse focuses on each other, and their problems: Did I pay the bills? Do the kids have soccer practice Tuesday or Wednesday? How are we going to afford tires for the car now? Should I try for a new job to earn more money?
In the final verse Paul The Apostle sums up this part of his speech to say that he’s trying not to dissuade marriage but show the realities of it, and how it saps devotion to God.
This proves, in my opinion, why it’s better to be single. Even if you aren’t a believer in God, living a single life has less burdens for the individual.
Am I Against Marriage?
Now, I’m not against marriage. I think it’s wonderful for those who want to devote their lives to one another and create a family. I also believe that most people want marriage and will get married. However, I approach this topic like Paul The Apostle: I’m not trying to dissuade people from getting married but they need to know the realities of it. It’s difficult even during the good times.
Marriage takes a tremendous amount of time and energy. Thus, it’s not for the weak or the lazy. Beside discussing the realities of I want to provide people another option in life. Society tells us that marriage shows one is truly an adult. That marriage is the be-all end-all. It isn’t. Being single is viable. And it can provide a person a better life than the alternative.
Singledom works well for me because I’m don’t want marriage nor have kids. I don’t even have a pet (or want one). I think there are other people who think as I do but feel that it isn’t right. That choosing to stay a lifelong bachelor or bachelorette is wrong. It’s not. If you want a simple life that leads to your betterment then staying single is it. That’s why it’s better to be single.
Finally, if you choose this route you will have good company. There are more single American adults than ever before. It appears American society accepts this fact even though the government continues to convince its citizens to marry and procreate. They need the next batch of workers and a tax base.